he merely wields a fork, knife, or a spoon

Across the plains of Serengeti
where the Lions stride with the wapiti
walks the brave Maasai hunter
even he knows better like all wise men do
that he might sling an arrow better than the best
a rhino in its eye stare
back down an elephant mad
but the kitchen turns this intrepid man
tamer than a house cat, meeker than the lamb

For he knows that for his own good
that it is best if he opens his mouth not to roar
only to shove a piece of food

as he merely wields a fork, knife, or a spoon

There once lived a dark queen that stepped
nary a foot in the kitchen
When asked what the poor should partake
unwisely offered the advice to eat a cake
she that knew not a skillet from a forks tine
hence was consigned by the french man to the guillotine

alas if only she had opened her mouth
to shove that same piece of cake

since she merely wielded a fork, knife, or a spoon

For fools that know not
between coriander and cumin the difference
God in his infinite (un) wisdom gave such men a tongue
such men ought know that at best a decorative it is
better yet a tool to move the food in the mouth side to side

considering they merely wield a fork, knife, or a spoon

what does such a man know if he knows
not what a ladle or a skillet is used for
when such man's mouth doth open
and sound emanates
may they only utter superlatives
best or better yet best-est
when describing the efforts of the dear
I mean dear-est

on the grounds that he merely wields a fork, knife, or a spoon

speech is merely silver while silence is golden
so stay quiet you fool

for you merely wield a fork, knife, or a spoon

if such men's mouths do open
and sounds do emanate
other than wonderful-est, amazing-est, best-est
or simple the classic-est word of all greatest
when describing the efforts of the sweet-est
heresy it is
deserve they
as the Queen of Heart quoth
Off with their heads

For such men are better off without anything above their shoulders

all things considered they merely wield a fork, knife, or a spoon

gasp that such men exist that know not
if this a poem, an ode, perhaps a haiku be
lips part and out comes the sound of prattle
or worse yet the sound of a rattle
surely capable are they at the dining table of the vilest crime

But recollect what our one and only Lord prayed on the cross
Forgive them for they know not what they do

taking into account they merely wield a fork, knife, or a spoon