Am I a Loser?

That was a rhetorical question. So please do not answer unless your answer is a No, I mean an emphatic No!!

Let us go back to our childhood days when we were in some class or other. Do you remember what the teacher asked of us? Do your best. I am sure you never listened. Neither did I. I did not simply care to do my best, I wanted to be better than the others. I wanted to be better than the other boy at cricket. I wanted to beat everyone in badminton. I hated losing as I am sure you did too.

Detour time; during early years at school, I hated girls. Clean; punctual; always did their homework; teachers pet; those goody two shoes!! How I despised them!! In particular it bothered me when the girls in the class always stood first. It was not good enough for me to be good at studies; I wanted to be better than them. It rarely happened, but when it did, it felt sweet. Thank god, this phase lasted only till puberty.

Back again with more rhetoric; Let us flip the question. Am I a winner? Define winner.

Each of us has a chosen profession. I am a Computer Scientist from that time when it meant something to be one. I mean I understand algorithms, I understand good design, I do not like to merely sling code just because it works.

So am I the best in this? Am I at least near the top? Ha. I mean Ha Ha. (Hint - you are supposed to laugh)

Last time I checked, no one is waiting to give me a Turing Award which is the highest award one can get in my profession and from the body of my accumulated work there is no danger of any nominations in the near future, or for that matter in the distant future. As far as badminton is concerned I am a amateur at Class C/D level player. There are no levels below this. How about wealth? Not unless I am as rich as Bill Gates or Warren Buffett.

If we define success as being the richest, then most of us would be losers. If we define success as having won a Turing Award, Nobel Prize, Olympic Gold Medal, best in badminton (choose your favorite sport) well most of us are not even close.

When someone philosophies that the struggle is simply strive to be a better person; we think it is old man talk.

Well I am older and it now makes sense. Do your best. Yeah I get it now.

I try at every job to be better. I make mistakes and in my next job try not to repeat them. I try to write better code. I read what others in the field have to say and try to follow that. I try to pass on what I know to those who care to listen. In badminton I listen to my daughter's coach. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. At least I cannot be accused of not trying.

Talking about philosophy you know what Descartes said - I think, therefore I am. You all know what a great man he was.

So who am I to quibble - I think I am a winner, therefore I am.