Jannavi sent this as an email to some of our friends on May 28, 2004. She says nice things about my writing, but you all will admit that when it comes from the heart as this one does, it is really good. A cliche definitely, I just wish I wrote such cliche :-)
Disclaimer: I have taken the liberty of fixing typos and reformatted the email. No other change has been made to the original email.
Hi Everyone,
Sitting at home yesterday, I was just thinking about things that happened in my recent past and I thought I should send this mail to all of you about how my life, our lives, has changed, and how it is actually helping me have a different perspective. I do apologize if it is a bit long and disconnected, i am penning this as my thoughts are forming....
When I met Raag, in 1991, he joked at the way I planned my life, I only saw in multiples of 5 and 10 into the future. I planned for us, with an attitude that, I would make it happen exactly as I envisioned. I planned.
When we had Devayani in 1995, I planned months ahead how I would bring her up. I had detailed plans of what she will be when she grows up. This, even before she knew how to walk! I planned.
When we were looking for a house in MD, I was paranoid I would not get into a good school district. My daughter was 3 and I was planning her high school graduation. Raag and I fought everyday about the house we wanted. He didn't care about schools, I didn't care about commute time. We bought a house far from his job, and not in the greatest school district and I was upset it did not go with my long term 'plan'.
When we started trying for a second child back in 1999, I was 'planning' yet again I wanted only a summer baby because I didn't want to have my child lose a year by being born in winter. I 'planned' for a summer baby because I thought it would suit Raag well during his trips to and from the hospital. I planned.
When I lost my job last year, my world came crashing down around me. We were going to have a baby. What were we going to do with one job down and how were we going to pay for college for two kids. My distant future plans were upset. I had to get a job, and I did. My plans were still intact, till the miscarriage.
After all this, here I am. Devayani is doing so well at her school, that I am happy we bought this house when we did. We survived a car accident that few can live to talk about. I have discovered that I have such a resilient daughter, she makes me proud everyday. In the end of March this year, I was laid off again. I realize I am actually happy. I am happy to be home. I haven't had any of the knee jerk reactions I had during last year's layoff like cutting down on expenses, vacations, activities for Devayani, none of that. We had such a wonderful vacation hiking in Utah and CA and for something we hardly 'planned', it was our best trip. And this was two days after I lost my job, very unlike me.
The events in our lives, has shown me what a fool I have been all these years. What was I thinking when I said I can tackle life and control it to my liking. How I have wasted my time planning into a future I have no control of. It is sad that we had to go thru the things we did to have such an eyeopener (I am not being sarcastic).
All I want to say is, live for the moment. Cherish what you have now, and don't think what all you can have in the future. Don't plan so far into the future, that you forget to enjoy the present. So if you ask me what my plans are for Labor Day or Jul 4 weekend, I will smile, and tell you, I don't know what I am doing tomorrow. And you know what, it is not because I am afraid of the future, it is because I am really enjoying life this way. Stopping for all the small joys around me because I don't know what is in store for me tomorrow, and I don't care to know about it
today.
I hope I didn't bore you.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Cliche
I never have original thoughts. I despair of ever having original thoughts. In fact I cannot recollect ever having had one. I have had a few quips, a pun here or there, some word play that resulted in a neat joke. But an original thought that can be go toe to toe with those by say Mark Twain; nah that does not seem to be in my fortune in this birth.
You must be thinking "What arrogance, guy can't bat 0.25 but wants to hit a Grand Slam!! He has to request, say please, sometimes pretty please, several times .... to get people to read his blogs and he has the effrontery to refer to Mark Twain. Get real!!"
Anyway, there have been times, albeit rarely, when I have had moments of clarity, when an epiphany arose (Disclaimer - moments not induced by LSD or any other stimulants). Later after passage of some time when I make an attempt to recapture those thoughts they no longer feel as impressive. In fact they come across as common place or cliched. But then after several days of inaction I am left with a feeling of discontent that maybe I had a good idea but never followed it up.
Maybe it is not merely having an epiphany that is important, it is what we do with it that makes it relevant. We need to develop them, polish them and finally present them to a discerning audience. Maybe all great ideas start as a epiphany, only in these cases the author has the extraordinary drive to take this idea from his brain and successfully plant it several million brains. It is our choice whether we let our ideas live or die. Does that make sense?
Hey maybe the previous para counts as a decent thought?
So when last time a thought occurred I took the decision to in the future put it down in writing. So rather than present it as original thought I decided to set it out in blogosphere and see what people think and let them judge its triteness. But thinking is hard and I do not mean idle thoughts of winning 100 million dollars in a lottery, but real, to the point, purposeful thinking. This is compounded by the fact that I am out of practice. If thinking is hard, writing is harder. Anybody can write, only a few can command the attention of the reader.
So what is the cliche for this week?
I am sorry I forgot what it is :-). It is probably not as important as the resolution it led to, which is --
In the future when a wonderfully cliched idea hits me you will be the first one to hear it.
You must be thinking "What arrogance, guy can't bat 0.25 but wants to hit a Grand Slam!! He has to request, say please, sometimes pretty please, several times .... to get people to read his blogs and he has the effrontery to refer to Mark Twain. Get real!!"
Anyway, there have been times, albeit rarely, when I have had moments of clarity, when an epiphany arose (Disclaimer - moments not induced by LSD or any other stimulants). Later after passage of some time when I make an attempt to recapture those thoughts they no longer feel as impressive. In fact they come across as common place or cliched. But then after several days of inaction I am left with a feeling of discontent that maybe I had a good idea but never followed it up.
Maybe it is not merely having an epiphany that is important, it is what we do with it that makes it relevant. We need to develop them, polish them and finally present them to a discerning audience. Maybe all great ideas start as a epiphany, only in these cases the author has the extraordinary drive to take this idea from his brain and successfully plant it several million brains. It is our choice whether we let our ideas live or die. Does that make sense?
Hey maybe the previous para counts as a decent thought?
So when last time a thought occurred I took the decision to in the future put it down in writing. So rather than present it as original thought I decided to set it out in blogosphere and see what people think and let them judge its triteness. But thinking is hard and I do not mean idle thoughts of winning 100 million dollars in a lottery, but real, to the point, purposeful thinking. This is compounded by the fact that I am out of practice. If thinking is hard, writing is harder. Anybody can write, only a few can command the attention of the reader.
So what is the cliche for this week?
I am sorry I forgot what it is :-). It is probably not as important as the resolution it led to, which is --
In the future when a wonderfully cliched idea hits me you will be the first one to hear it.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
NONZERO - Book
Games like Chess have a simple proposition; I win, you lose; you win, I lose. Both cannot win at the same time. Games like these are called Zero Sum Games. The opposite of this is Non-zero-Sum where the sum of gains and losses by the players are always more or less than what they began with.
This concept was developed in Game Theory where players choose different action to maximize their returns. It turns out that although developed as a tool at the height of cold war, it has ended up being a useful in day to day affairs involving negotiations between two parties.
Trivial as these concepts seem at first, it turns out the life itself is a large scale Non-Zero-Sum Game operating at many levels!! Nature has been doing its own research on Game Theory for billions of years!! Genes subsume their individuality teaming with other genes to form viruses, bacteria and other single celled creatures. Cells get together and form multi-cellular organisms with continuous evolution in complexity. At each point the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The implication here is that life presents us with scenarios that may seem adversarial at first glance only to reveal opportunities for cooperation.
The book I want to talk about is NONZERO is by Robert Wright
This book takes a slight slant in it that; it claims that cultural development is predictably always in forward. Although politically incorrect to label earlier cultures as progressing from "Savagery", "barbarians", "low barbarians" to finally "civilized", it was felt by looking back at over the past several millennium that historical forces inevitably forced a cultural evolution along those lines.
This book describes several cultures spread over several millennium with examples spanning five continents. In each case the author makes a convincing case for direction of the arrow of culture as moving forward; towards greater social complexity and interdependence. He shows by clear examples how repeatedly in history there has been major technology shifts that convinces that generation that they are living in a period of great change!! Each technological leap increases the possibility of Nonzero-sumness leading to even greater interdependence.
Read also The Evolution of Cooperation by Axelrod for more on this topic.
This concept was developed in Game Theory where players choose different action to maximize their returns. It turns out that although developed as a tool at the height of cold war, it has ended up being a useful in day to day affairs involving negotiations between two parties.
Trivial as these concepts seem at first, it turns out the life itself is a large scale Non-Zero-Sum Game operating at many levels!! Nature has been doing its own research on Game Theory for billions of years!! Genes subsume their individuality teaming with other genes to form viruses, bacteria and other single celled creatures. Cells get together and form multi-cellular organisms with continuous evolution in complexity. At each point the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The implication here is that life presents us with scenarios that may seem adversarial at first glance only to reveal opportunities for cooperation.
The book I want to talk about is NONZERO is by Robert Wright
This book takes a slight slant in it that; it claims that cultural development is predictably always in forward. Although politically incorrect to label earlier cultures as progressing from "Savagery", "barbarians", "low barbarians" to finally "civilized", it was felt by looking back at over the past several millennium that historical forces inevitably forced a cultural evolution along those lines.
This book describes several cultures spread over several millennium with examples spanning five continents. In each case the author makes a convincing case for direction of the arrow of culture as moving forward; towards greater social complexity and interdependence. He shows by clear examples how repeatedly in history there has been major technology shifts that convinces that generation that they are living in a period of great change!! Each technological leap increases the possibility of Nonzero-sumness leading to even greater interdependence.
Read also The Evolution of Cooperation by Axelrod for more on this topic.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Importance of a 20 Rupees
As you all know (since I do not fail to mention it in all my conversations) I have been travelling to India often in the past year and a half. The past 3 visits have all been to Chennai which happens to be the location of the company we are doing business with. The name of this company is Adventnet and they have a unusual product line called Zoho. Adventnet is well known in network management circles and Zoho is now making a name for itself. Rather than describe the various Zoho Products in any level of details, I will just say this; very soon (no prediction on the time line) you will not be using Microsoft Office. Check them out. Consider this para as a plug for Zoho.
Getting back to my topic; I usually take a cab to go back and forth from my house in Indira Nagar where my parents live when they are not in Delhi. Yup, my parents are very Cosmo. I get my cab from Sai Cab, decently reliable guys, average cars, and affordable (definitely a plug). The bill for the trip is 280 rupees and I always round it to Rs. 300.
On one of the morning rides I did not have change and that is also OK with these guys, they do not mind accepting payment the next day. In the evening I got both the receipts but the evening driver (heretofore referred to as Driver II) was a different person and I was wondering how I could ensure that the tip from the morning trip reached the correct driver (heretofore referred to as Driver I). So I did a quick addition and proffered 600 rupees and asked for 20 back (280 from morning + 280 from evening and 20 for evening tip, in case you are wondering). Needless to say these guys do not carry almost any money!! I got a little flustered and it showed in my face.
If you are wondering where this is all going, be a little more patient. The end is near.
Driver II was quite astute (he in my opinion is under utilized) read my mind clearly. He told me not to worry and that the Driver I from morning had given him the bill from morning ride and told him clearly that I would give 20 rupees tip for the morning ride and that he (Driver II) better see to it that it reaches him (Driver I). The man actually gave clear injunctions to ensure that that this seemingly small amount (for american: 20 rupees = 50 cents) reached him!! Yeah, I intended to tip him, but I was also merely rounding the number to make it easy on myself!!
Getting back to my topic; I usually take a cab to go back and forth from my house in Indira Nagar where my parents live when they are not in Delhi. Yup, my parents are very Cosmo. I get my cab from Sai Cab, decently reliable guys, average cars, and affordable (definitely a plug). The bill for the trip is 280 rupees and I always round it to Rs. 300.
On one of the morning rides I did not have change and that is also OK with these guys, they do not mind accepting payment the next day. In the evening I got both the receipts but the evening driver (heretofore referred to as Driver II) was a different person and I was wondering how I could ensure that the tip from the morning trip reached the correct driver (heretofore referred to as Driver I). So I did a quick addition and proffered 600 rupees and asked for 20 back (280 from morning + 280 from evening and 20 for evening tip, in case you are wondering). Needless to say these guys do not carry almost any money!! I got a little flustered and it showed in my face.
If you are wondering where this is all going, be a little more patient. The end is near.
Driver II was quite astute (he in my opinion is under utilized) read my mind clearly. He told me not to worry and that the Driver I from morning had given him the bill from morning ride and told him clearly that I would give 20 rupees tip for the morning ride and that he (Driver II) better see to it that it reaches him (Driver I). The man actually gave clear injunctions to ensure that that this seemingly small amount (for american: 20 rupees = 50 cents) reached him!! Yeah, I intended to tip him, but I was also merely rounding the number to make it easy on myself!!
Monday, April 09, 2007
One year later
Last weekend I went yet another time to Bangalore and this time due to time constraints I took a Volvo bus. If you have not travelled by one please try these out. They are stretched buses with 2 wide comfortable seats on each side and a narrow aisle. The seats lean back almost horizontal and in the private operators there may even be leg support. Overhead rack for smaller luggage is available inside with a storage space for larger luggage underneath.
On the return journey we took the bus from Majestic. The trip itself was uneventful but the less said about Majestic the better. Never mind, I will say more. Banglore bus terminal is a mini version of their airport; messy, disorganized, chaotic. No one seemed to be in charge. The stand itself has long ago outgrown its capacity.
In contrast my eyes lit up when I saw the Chennai bus-stand. You have to take a look at this terminal Koyambedu. This terminal is almost futuristic and infact better than most airports in India!! Very huge with both local stand next to the intra-state/ inter-state stand. The only thing that would make this more useful is an auto stand that is also integrated into this stand.
Sundry comments
There was an usual sign on the side of a bus "Dehradoon education, available now in Bangalore". I tried to translate this to US English "Boston education, available now in DC". Did not make any sense.
I saw a Bar & Restaurant in Bangalore near a place called Minerva called "Coastarica". The question is do you trust his food and beverages if you do not trust his spelling!!
On the return journey we took the bus from Majestic. The trip itself was uneventful but the less said about Majestic the better. Never mind, I will say more. Banglore bus terminal is a mini version of their airport; messy, disorganized, chaotic. No one seemed to be in charge. The stand itself has long ago outgrown its capacity.
In contrast my eyes lit up when I saw the Chennai bus-stand. You have to take a look at this terminal Koyambedu. This terminal is almost futuristic and infact better than most airports in India!! Very huge with both local stand next to the intra-state/ inter-state stand. The only thing that would make this more useful is an auto stand that is also integrated into this stand.
Sundry comments
There was an usual sign on the side of a bus "Dehradoon education, available now in Bangalore". I tried to translate this to US English "Boston education, available now in DC". Did not make any sense.
I saw a Bar & Restaurant in Bangalore near a place called Minerva called "Coastarica". The question is do you trust his food and beverages if you do not trust his spelling!!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Gah-Rham Restaurant
This translation was forwarded to me by Jannavi
Gah-Rham Restaurant
5027 Garrett Avenue, Beltsville and Maryland 20705
Phone: 301-595-4122
As for Korean restaurant there is a large quantity, but price, taste and service etc synthesizing, you think that here reputation is best. When it is from the campus, when Route 1 it goes north, Powder Mill Road (Route 212) exceeds and goes a little (MVA compared to forward), is Seven Eleven in the left hand, is Gah-Rham on the reverse side. Because there is Korean restaurant classified by another in the same site, will try not to make a mistake.
Most the fact that it has popularity Buffet which is done in the lunch is the eating at will. Also the sushi comes out in addition to various cooking. But as expected the first-rate sushi shop it is not compared, to grasp, because you can eat building, if of price is thought, you think that it can be completely satisfied. If it is the dinner, the burning meat and meal served in hot pot etc are popularity.
Gah-Rham Restaurant
5027 Garrett Avenue, Beltsville and Maryland 20705
Phone: 301-595-4122
As for Korean restaurant there is a large quantity, but price, taste and service etc synthesizing, you think that here reputation is best. When it is from the campus, when Route 1 it goes north, Powder Mill Road (Route 212) exceeds and goes a little (MVA compared to forward), is Seven Eleven in the left hand, is Gah-Rham on the reverse side. Because there is Korean restaurant classified by another in the same site, will try not to make a mistake.
Most the fact that it has popularity Buffet which is done in the lunch is the eating at will. Also the sushi comes out in addition to various cooking. But as expected the first-rate sushi shop it is not compared, to grasp, because you can eat building, if of price is thought, you think that it can be completely satisfied. If it is the dinner, the burning meat and meal served in hot pot etc are popularity.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Roads in India and Software Development
Having traveled too many times to India, I am now jaded. I am no longer excited either by international travel for purposes of work or about the prospects of being in India. I no longer notice anything interesting at all. I suppose if a person lives 4 months in a year in a certain place it grows on you. It reached a point when I heard my mother complain bitterly about the beginning of summer heat whereas I found myself defending the heat; in fact I find that it is quite pleasant. Don’t get me wrong, it is warm and definitely humid, but nothing like late April or even middle of May when only (as the saying goes) “mad dogs and Englishmen roam the countryside”!!
As I drive through the roads of here in India, the one thing I noticed over the past two years is there is a lot of construction going on our roads all over India. On an idle whim, I began seeing if there were any parallel between the two processes, road building, and software development. If we could this is what I feel would the position of various cities.
Work with me here, OK!!
Bangalore would be in a state of perpetual requirements gathering. They will do one of the following
1) They will check of the roads are by any chance going through a rich neighborhood and if so raise so raise pro-socialist slogans and accuse the government of selling out to multi-nationals.
2) They will check if this somehow benefits Tamilnadu and raise the bogey of Kannada being belittled and tie the construction of the road to release of Cavery waters
Chennai would be in state of perpetual alpha with various major roads seemingly always under construction. One particular road called RK Mutt Road connecting Mandaveli and Mylapore probably has never been completed since the time it was laid. Construction and commute seems to have decided to co-exist peacefully!! Anyway the only topics that the government here cares are
1) 69% of all employees must be from minority communities. Woe betides the contract that is based strictly on merit.
2) Is the contract written in Tamil in triplicate? It does not matter that the officials cannot read it since their parents while touting the fact that Tamil is a classical language (someone please enlighten me what it means) gave them a convent education.
3) If either of these criteria is not met, both leaders will accuse the other of having treated the Tamils unfairly and call a bandh (it may sound interesting, but a sitting government not opposition calls a bandh; you are in power, how can you call a bandh against yourself?)
Roads in Bombay (oops I mean Mumbai) will be in beta state, mostly functioning wide roads, well laid befitting the financial capital of India. Only thing the roads will be built to handle capacity from 30 years ago!! When people complain about this is what would happen
1) The government would complain that Mumbai is for Maharastrians and the rest of them should leave especially those Tamil, Muslims, Biharis, UPites, people who have ruined "Amchi Mumbai"
2) Provide an impractical solution such as building a bridge that runs past (say) Lata Mangeshkars house. The resulting commotion will probably kill the initiative.
In Delhi, no one will gather requirements. The central government will decide arbitrarily that all 2 lane roads will be 4, 4 to 6, 6 to… you get the picture. Delhi will be as close to production quality as possible in India. Even roads 50 kilometers from city center will be built that are 6 lanes wide in each side built to international standards. One road will contain no less than 20 flyovers and as we all know since that is not adequate they are in the process of building 5 more. No one dare question the government’s rationale since we all know Delhi is the capital and it must be ready for Common wealth games in about 3 years.
As I drive through the roads of here in India, the one thing I noticed over the past two years is there is a lot of construction going on our roads all over India. On an idle whim, I began seeing if there were any parallel between the two processes, road building, and software development. If we could this is what I feel would the position of various cities.
Work with me here, OK!!
Bangalore would be in a state of perpetual requirements gathering. They will do one of the following
1) They will check of the roads are by any chance going through a rich neighborhood and if so raise so raise pro-socialist slogans and accuse the government of selling out to multi-nationals.
2) They will check if this somehow benefits Tamilnadu and raise the bogey of Kannada being belittled and tie the construction of the road to release of Cavery waters
Chennai would be in state of perpetual alpha with various major roads seemingly always under construction. One particular road called RK Mutt Road connecting Mandaveli and Mylapore probably has never been completed since the time it was laid. Construction and commute seems to have decided to co-exist peacefully!! Anyway the only topics that the government here cares are
1) 69% of all employees must be from minority communities. Woe betides the contract that is based strictly on merit.
2) Is the contract written in Tamil in triplicate? It does not matter that the officials cannot read it since their parents while touting the fact that Tamil is a classical language (someone please enlighten me what it means) gave them a convent education.
3) If either of these criteria is not met, both leaders will accuse the other of having treated the Tamils unfairly and call a bandh (it may sound interesting, but a sitting government not opposition calls a bandh; you are in power, how can you call a bandh against yourself?)
Roads in Bombay (oops I mean Mumbai) will be in beta state, mostly functioning wide roads, well laid befitting the financial capital of India. Only thing the roads will be built to handle capacity from 30 years ago!! When people complain about this is what would happen
1) The government would complain that Mumbai is for Maharastrians and the rest of them should leave especially those Tamil, Muslims, Biharis, UPites, people who have ruined "Amchi Mumbai"
2) Provide an impractical solution such as building a bridge that runs past (say) Lata Mangeshkars house. The resulting commotion will probably kill the initiative.
In Delhi, no one will gather requirements. The central government will decide arbitrarily that all 2 lane roads will be 4, 4 to 6, 6 to… you get the picture. Delhi will be as close to production quality as possible in India. Even roads 50 kilometers from city center will be built that are 6 lanes wide in each side built to international standards. One road will contain no less than 20 flyovers and as we all know since that is not adequate they are in the process of building 5 more. No one dare question the government’s rationale since we all know Delhi is the capital and it must be ready for Common wealth games in about 3 years.
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